The Dolly Daily Breakfast Plan

7th March 2008

posted in Her Plan |

1. Set your alarm clock to ring fifteen minutes after you want to wake up. The Dolly sets her clock for 9:15 am, which makes her fifteen minutes late in the morning.

2. Realizing that you are late, you quickly jump out of bed. This limb pounding will strengthen ankle and calf muscles.

3. Morning panics burn-off an automatic 20 calories, or more depending on your neurosis.

4. Reach for that unused condom and fill it with chilled witch-hazel, then place it (all 8″) on your puffy eyes to reduce unsightly baggage. Reduced water weight - 0.001 ounces.

5. Then brush your teeth the wrong way. That horizontal movement may not be good for your teeth or your gums, but will do wonders for that flabby underarm.

6. Race to the kitchen, to pop a multi-grain piece of health bread into your toaster. Make sure to use a long knife to jimmy your crumbling bread out of your toaster. A quick electrical shock will give your heart that cardio-workout necessary to jumpstart your day. Another - 50 calories burned!

7. With no time left, you skip breakfast altogether, jump into your clothes and then run to your car - 50 calories.

8. Remember to bump your head on the car door as you enter and then start swearing. This warms up the vocal cords and starts producing stomach acid, which will in turn; tighten those tummy muscles! - 50 more calories.

If your bump is severe enough you may be one of the lucky ones who gets amnesia and so repeats ‘The Dolly Breakfast Plan’ over and over again. You are likely to burn more calories than you can remember…

And if you can’t remember, just forget it!

This entry was posted on Friday, March 7th, 2008 at 2:34 am and is filed under Her Plan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On March 26th, 2008, Dahlia said:

LOVE the light show! And how the light shows through her. Just shows you how “enlightened” she really is. In hopes of achieving my own enlightenment, I will practice daily with my knife and toaster…

posted on March 26th, 2008 at 5:20 am

2 On April 1st, 2008, suddenly slim diet said:

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This guide tells you what foods to include in your diet each day and in what portions. It shows you how to have a balanced diet by eating foods from all the basic food groups: milk, yogurt and cheese (two to three servings; one cup of milk or yogurt wo…

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3 On May 10th, 2008, janice said:

I would like to see this video…
Is that possible?
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I like the diet.

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 2:08 am

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